February 20, 2017, Monday

I firmly believe that what happens to us is not important, but rather who we become through those experiences that does.

Today, I’m talking about caregiving, specifically.

When one has a stroke they themselves change in an instant. What was familiar yesterday no longer exists today. You’ve changed at your very core, but nothing else has and now that leaves you feeling afraid and disconcerted. You have no choice, you have to find a new way to live.

For the caregiver it is inside out. You haven’t changed, but everything around you has. What once was familiar and comfortable is now strange and disconcerting. You have no choice you have to find a new way to live.

Initially, your focus is solely on your survivor, as it should be. However, if you don’t take care of yourself you cannot take care of your survivor. In my work with clients, one of the things I include is the ‘airline philosophy’. When the oxygen masks drop you HAVE to put it on yourself first. If you pass out you can’t help your children, or your parents or anyone else.

So, if you are reading this today, I’m taking it that you need some YOU time!

Make sure you take time whatever it may be, to tend to something of yourself. Actually, you need to do something for yourself everyday. Every day. It doesn’t have to be huge, but it does need to be daily. Now on a weekly, monthly or even yearly basis you need to do bigger things.


  • hot bath
  • mani/pedi
  • girl’s/boy’s night out
  • walk in the woods
  • exercise
  • art gallery/museum
  • sit by a lake
  • play with puppies
  • snuggle a baby
  • meditate
  • journal
  • yoga
  • art
  • writing poetry

At this point I’ve let my own self-care go far too long. Have you?




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