February 14, 2017, Tuesday
Chris has an infamous friend he calls ‘Biker Dave’. I have heard tales of Biker Dave since I met Chris, but I have yet to meet this character. Biker Dave has done a lot of really adventurous stuff. According to Chris, Dave is super strong. Chris is no slouch in this department either, so for him to impressed is something to note.
Dave had called while Chris was in the hospital to solicit his help in doing a job in Indianapolis. Chris, of course, had to decline, so today Dave called to check up on him…and tell him he was coming to visit.
I still have not cleaned the house. And I don’t really care. It can just be another one of Biker Dave’s adventures.
Dave was pretty much how Chris described him. A tall skinny guy with long hair. Nice as could be and very comfortable in his own skin. He was clearly not the kind that was going to be judging my house keeping skills, for sure. He was just that easy going.
We all visited in the living room for quite awhile before I offered to make a meal. “Salmon, anyone?” So off I went to make some food. Dave and Chris both joined me in the kitchen as I was setting the table.
We sat and visited some more until Chris asked Dave for some help with the trailer. I went back to my business on the computer. The whole time Dave had visited he was sitting in the chair I typically sit in. The chair I was sitting in to do my work. Dave called up to say goodbye and off he went.
I got up to do something else and when I went to put my laptop on the table next to my chair that’s when I saw it.
Sitting on the table where I’d taken it off the night before. Right next to Dave the entire visit. Right next to Dave’s coffee cup the entire visit!
I can’t say I was embarrassed, because being embarrassed is something I gave up a long time ago. What happens happens, no point in wasting energy being embarrassed about it. Being embarrassed is comparable to worry, its just that one is over the past one is over the future. Its utterly ridiculous. I own my stuff…and I just so happen to own that bra that was staring Biker Dave in the face for two hours, so what?
The ONLY thing that mattered that day was that one of Chris’ long time friends came to check up on him. It meant so very much to him. See, Chris has always been the doer. The fixer; literally and figuratively. Its his gift. Whatever is broken he is the guy who will fix it.
He’s the one everyone calls for advice or repair. But he himself has never needed that service. He has always been able to do for himself. He has not ever been the vulnerable one. Being vulnerable has been the most discomforting part of the whole ordeal for him I’d say. Having to acknowledge that he is not super man was a hard realization for him, but to have the people he has supported and assisted come back to offer the same to him can be overwhelming.
This is when the emotional effects of the stroke can be seen.
Emotion overtakes Chris when he receives or even thinks about the care, love and support he has received during this time. While he was always expressive of his emotions, he never cried in front of anyone other than me. Now, he can’t help himself.
I find it beautiful.
Probably because that is how I am wired so it is nice not to be the only crier on the block. But I think people like to know that what they do, say or give has a deep impact. I think it gives good energy right back to them. He didn’t cry, but he was deeply touched that Dave came out just to see him, when they haven’t seen each other in several years. He talked about it for a few hours after Dave left, so I knew it meant the world to him.
Oh yeah…and its Valentine’s Day too, isn’t it? I guess if you are going to flaunt your bra at Biker Dave, Valentine’s Day is the day to do it.
Laughter, my friends, is the ONLY way we are going to get through this.