Tuesday, the only real thing on Chris’s mind was his job. He was still really upset that yesterday was a ‘waste’. His mind was on the job, not on rehab.
He called me at home to tell me that breakfast hadn’t come and to not be surprised if he was waving at me from a bus while I made my way down Woodward Avenue to the hospital. He was pissed. In another life I would have laughed. In this life I now had to worry if he would at the very least sign himself out AMA again.
Second greatest gift we received, well actually the first chronologically, was Chris’s son stepping in to help his assistant finish the current job. This was a huge relief for Chris because he takes his commitments very seriously. He has great faith in both his son and his assistant so he could really relax and begin to focus his efforts on his first full day of therapy.
It didn’t take long for Chris’s focus to be…well…refocused.
The first assessment had him doing things he had imagined would be no problem, but were big problems. Like walking down the hallway. It was as if he were completely oblivious of his left side. He wanted to resume his very quick walking pace, as if to prove he wasn’t that impaired, but kept running into nurse’s stations, computers and other things in the hallway.
Bearing weight on his left leg, or using his left hand for fine motor functioning, also challenged him, but my guy is a trooper and he pushed through. When he sets his mind to something he gives it his all. He could tell how uncoordinated he was throwing the beach ball. How he wasn’t sure on his feet when he was catching that ball. He was unsteady walking on a mat or standing on a rubber ball thingy.
This man was accustomed to carrying heavy things up and down ladders or scaffolding. He was used to cutting tile with a diamond blade saw. He was used to having complete control of his entire body at all times. Now he had to use all his concentration to walk through a ladder on the floor and pick up colored bean bags.
Once he’s committed though, he’s committed. This is the same guy who drilled through his finger once, but didn’t stop working because the clients were without power and he couldn’t leave them like that.
He pushed himself in therapy to the point of throwing up…on the therapist.
Now here’s a funny/not funny thing, strokes don’t happen in a vacuum.
Strokes aren’t planned; they don’t happen when you have nothing else on your calendar; they don’t happen when you have the financial, emotional or mental resources to deal with them.
So, while Chris was starting rehab I was set to head out of state for a court date. I was very reluctant to leave him, however, felt better knowing he was in the hospital so I didn’t have to worry about who would care for him at home. This had been on my mind since he had his stroke. Truth be told I had to set it way in the back of my mind because to pull it up front felt as if it would capsize my boat.
I was set to leave the next morning with my daughter…reluctantly.
My lawyer called as soon as I got back to the house. The other side made a last minute shady move and court was cancelled. While I was relieved to not have to make the trip, I was devastated by yet another legal setback in this drama that has been playing out now for nine months. We just can’t seem to catch a break in this case.
I hung up the phone and crumpled. The pressure was too much for me and I cracked. Wide open. I cannot even tell you the last time I cried like that. I completely lost it. It was all too much for one person to handle. Way too much.
So, I decided I wouldn’t anymore.
I had to choose whether Chris’s healing or the legal battle was going to get my energetic resources. I could not continue to invest in both. Chris won hands down. I gave the legal battle up to my Spirit team that night. I handed over the reigns and trusted that they will work it out for my highest good. In my mind’s eye I set up a new room into which I sent the situation and asked for my spirit family to help me. Immediately so many spirits showed up and went to task. I thanked them and then I closed the door on the situation room.
This is much the same process I set up for Chris’s healing. The only difference is that I did not close the door on the healing room and remain an active participant. I only peak in to check in on the legal stuff when I have the energy resources to do so, otherwise I leave it up to the experts.
Strokes don’t happen in a vacuum. They aren’t penciled in like lunch. They happen inconveniently requiring you to discern which fire gets the water and which one gets starved.